Black Swan

I recently saw the new movie "Black Swan". Before this I was a little off the wagon eating sooo much and gained 5 pounds. after watching this movie i got so thinspired that it has been easier. I'm doing a fast right now. I drink water all day and sometimes juice. I allow myself one of the orange fruit cups when i'm feeling faint. I have already lost the 5pounds plus an extra 2. (:

yayyyy

Ahh i'm so proud of myself these days. I am on a new antidepresent that also happens to be a hungar supresent.  I havent been hungry for 4 days. I eat the occasionall fruit and veggy to stay safe and take lots of vitamins but its such a relieve to not even crave food.


down 10 pounds, 8 inches

Favorite Thinspo songs right now

Paper Bag - Fiona Apple

Eyesore  - Maria Mena
Jenny, Your Barely AliveRilo Kiley

Me & Mia - Ted Leo And The Pharmacists

90210 - Wale

First time with Mia

 I find it's easyier to keep my food intake down if i drink coffee and have smokes in the morining.  But I hate those days when my body is just starving for food. I ate more then i would have liked to this after noon wich lead me to somthing else...  I did my first purge today.  I'm not sure how i feel about it.  I've always seen myself as a strickly ana girl who sometimes dables with laxatives.  To be honest it felt awesome..not the acutaul perge but the emptyness after. It was like my sins had been repented. It was almost a high.  The end of a toothbrush worked like a charm and i drank alot of water before to smooth things along.  I dont think this will be a regular thing, i would like to stay more anna, but mia is now welcome.

I continue to look at thinspo religiously. -2 lbs today

First Post

                                                       I WILL REACH PERFECTION

                  

Heyy lovelys, this is my first post! This blog will be along for the journey with me as i go through my strugles with wieght and control.  It's more of a diary for me and a way to reach out to other girls and boys a like. After months of on and off control I have finally got a hold on it. It has been ten days and i have lost 4 inchs. Its a small amount, but the effort put in has been average -minimal.  Yesterday I started to grasp more controle over my appitite. The power was intoxicating. I woke up, i ate some cucumber diped in 1/2 fat ceacer.  made coffee, had a smoke. The smoke gave me a head rush, that was my reward. Did not have any craving for food for a solid 3 hours.  I hate a cracker with some cheese.  Drank another cup of coffe and had another smoke. Later Ate one pork chop with a bit of sauce.  The feeling of wakeing up after a successful day like that is amazing. Your stomach doesn't hurt because, from lack of food it shrinks and requires less to fill it.

I am  not in any way glamourising or endorsing eating disorders, this is just an online diary of what is happening.